I stared at a blank computer screen for a long time trying to come up with the words that felt appropriate to address fear. I know that fear isn’t foreign to any of us, but sometimes the motivational posters can make us feel even more stuck in our fear, or inability to act.
It wasn’t until I started to look at what I was afraid of and how I deal with fear that the patterns started emerging. I could finally start to address the blocks holding me back. Today I am highlighting my top 3 blocks that I have (and sometimes still) struggle with.
Block #1 Perfectionism
Perfectionism was almost more my identity than anything else. It kept me hidden. If I was trying to be perfect, no one would tease me for being chubby, for being shy. No one would notice me and that is just what I wanted.
Perfectionism was the bubble I cloaked myself in to keep me protected and safe. I was positive that if I just followed all the rules, did everything expected of me I would collect the ideal life.
What happened was that life did not give me the Hallmark movie ending I expected. Well that threw me for a loop, I had no idea what to do. So it was time to switch gears and take the first baby steps toward releasing my need to be perfect.
I signed up for my first yoga training. I set up a YouTube channel and started recording videos. It was/is writing a blog post each week knowing that the thoughts won’t be perfect, there may be a grammar mistake, but realizing that my message is more important than my discomfort.
Block #2 Vulnerability
* the last thing I want you to see in me
* the first thing I look for in you
I love this quote from Brene Brown because it gets to the heart of being vulnerable. I was positive that if I could just keep the mask in place and “be” who I was pretty sure everyone expected me to be, then everything would be perfect. Being vulnerable means that I have to show that I too am human. That maybe I don’t have it all figured out and that I have and will stumble. It’s me trusting you as my people and community to hold a safe space for me to process and learn, just as I hold a safe, healing space for you.
Being vulnerable has brought some amazing people into my world. My opening up has made it safe for others to confide in me and it has made it safe for me to confide in others. It has deepened my relationships and made me a better friend.
But it is not all Kumbaya’s and warm fuzzies, I still suffer from vulnerability hangovers. Those moments after I hit publish or share where I question what on Earth made me think it was a good idea to be the real me and share. What will people think about me. What if they don’t like what I have to say. What if, what if, what if…
It is a daily practice to learn to let go of who I think I “should” be and step into the power and grace of who I actually am.
Block #3 Enoughness
I am enough.
Most days I say that and truly believe it. Had you asked me that a year ago, I probably would have lied to you and said yup I believe I am good enough.
I spent a lot of years waiting for arbitrary milestones to come before I was enough to exist and fully embrace my life. I mourn a little for all the time lost waiting to lose the weight, finally have the perfect body and diet and then I would be worthy to find love, get my dream job and live happily ever after.
What I am happily discovering is the joy in new dreams and realizing that it is never too late. Enoughness is a big topic and I am working on a blog that does it and my journey justice.
So how did I get through these blocks? Well it is an ongoing process. What helped most was finding people I trusted who had experience helping others break through their mental blocks and create a life they love. I started a meditation and visualization practice. I did the hard work of sitting in my feelings, acknowledging them and journaling what I noticed. There were a lot of uncomfortable meditation sessions where i just wanted the quiet the chatter in my mind and do anything but tune in to my intuition. There were a lot of reluctant journaling days. There were days (weeks) when my ego got the better of me and I retreated back to my comfort zone.
But then that small inner voice would start to get louder, letting me know I was here to do more than hide out and play it safe. I have a mission and work to do, so sometimes I inch out of my comfort zone but I am moving. I am learning the value of imperfect action.
So, does any of this sound familiar to you? What blocks you from having a life you love? What would help you make progress through your blocks? Email or message me to set up a discovery call to see if working together is the way to get you on the path to being your best you!
