It is so easy to hop on the scale or grab the tape measure and see in an instant whether or not all the new healthy choices we have implemented have brought success.
It can also be equally disheartening to do the exact same thing and not see the results we were hoping for (especially if we feel like we have been “perfect”).
You almost start to feel like the only way you are successful at any health endeavor is by how much weight you have lost or by some dramatic physical transformation. Only once we have achieved those goals can we celebrate. We are told to treat ourselves to a spa day, new clothes, anything that is not food (so as not to undo all the hard work we have already done).
I say all of this from experience. I rewarded myself with everything but what I really wanted, which was probably a cupcake, because that one treat was a slippery slope and I couldn’t be trusted to not completely ruin all my hard work.
Treating every food and workout decision as the life or death of my ideal body dreams was exhausting. I was afraid to eat and afraid to not workout. There was so much disorder in my habits.
What changed was me confronting the real fear, which was of me getting fat. Fat is not desirable to most people. I feel like it would be right at home in most people’s top fears, along with death and public speaking. People in larger bodies are not treated well in our society and it’s a shame. A shame we can’t see past our own biases and see the people.
When I went on this journey to reconnect to my body and myself, I knew I would need different criteria to measure my success. My new journey was about freedom and that is kinda hard to measure definitively. What I did was to list what about my new journey was I hoping to heal. If I knew what I did want, I should be able to see if I was making progress in a better direction for myself.
- Food: This is a big one for me. I basically never kept any “bad” food in my house because I couldn’t be trusted to not eat it all. I didn’t see the correlation between my severe restriction and binge eating in response to that, I just thought I lacked willpower. My biggest NSV (Non-Scale Victory) was actually forgetting to eat a cupcake one night because I was comfortably full after dinner. It was ordering the sandwich when I went out to lunch because I knew it would fill me up because dinner was going to be late that night. It was truly feeling the freedom in knowing that no food was off limits to me. When I am free to have it, the desire to eat it all in one sitting is gone.
- Movement: This is an area that I still struggle with. I knew food was the battle I needed to fight first and now that I am making progress with that, I am free to focus on moving with intention. I am discovering that I do really enjoy working out. I have found a program that I like, it involves weights (which I love) and there is some structure, but ultimately I have control of what I am doing each session. I love being excited to move and treat my body well.
- Mindset: I feel like this might be an overlooked part of any health journey. Our mind will tell us to quit long before our body is ready to. This is not the no pain, no gain mentality. That is dangerous in it’s own way. This is about mentally getting ourselves out of those negative thoughts and learning to reframe them into something more supportive. For me it has been the calm that a regular meditation practice has brought me. The quiet time to focus on my breathing and let my mind be still has strengthened me. I am more resilient after those bad body days.
It’s all about re-defining success. I wanted more freedom from worrying about food and how my body looks. I am getting there. We do not give ourselves enough credit for the little wins we have each day. I am celebrating all of my hard work and I encourage you to do that too. Don’t wait for the big achievements only. Find something each day you can celebrate, I do. And yes, sometimes that celebration involves a cupcake.
If you are looking for more help in re-defining what healthy is for you, let’s talk. My work is to help be that guide to get you to a life you love and help you celebrate all the wins!
