Today is cold and rainy and I would love to be sitting somewhere nice and warm, reading a book, getting some sun and just being.
There is a lot that can feel aspirational about rest and relaxation. Visions of bubble baths, spa treatments and glasses of wine can feel like the norm. But what if it doesn’t match your definition of rest and relaxation.
I get stuck in the rut of using a pedicure (done from home now), a cup of my favorite tea, watching my favorite movie or tv show for the millionth time. And sometimes that is great, but sometimes there is a restlessness that the usual relaxation tricks just won’t cut it.
When that happens I pull out my journal and ask myself some questions:
- What would make me feel better in this moment?
- What is something I used to enjoy doing but don’t do anymore?
- What is something I have always wanted to do, but felt too silly doing?
- What am I feeling now in this moment? How can I serve myself and be present for these feelings today?
Then I set a timer for 5-10 minutes and just write. List everything and anything. Don’t censor your answers, just let them come. This is great information for you to start to piece together your rest and relaxation strategy.
I include the feelings question because I think it’s important. A lot of times we (myself included), use these relaxation and self care strategies to avoid dealing with big emotions. It will work for a while, but eventually you will need to deal with how you are feeling. If this is too big and scary to journal about, please, please, please, reach out to a mental health professional. Try MentalHealth.gov or NAMI: National Alliance on Mental Illness .
I sometimes have to sit down with myself and really dig into my feelings. Be specific and really naming them. Then I try to trace it back to an event, incident or something so that I can deal with the feelings and emotions and in this way honor and take care of myself.
Sometimes I use meditation as a gateway to getting myself to a relaxed and receptive place to let these new ideas flow. I keep an open notebook and pen beside me so that I can jot down ideas if they come to me in a meditation. Sometimes I get great ideas and sometimes I just took 20 minutes for myself and snuck in some relaxation!
The more we let go of control and the more we allow those thoughts and ideas to come organically the better and juicier they are!
I thought about putting a list of different and out of the box suggestions here for you, but I want your list to be unique only to you. This is where you start trusting yourself and your intuition to know what is best for you.
So now that you have a whole list of things that excite you, restore you, maybe even relax you, schedule it! Put it on your calendar, make it important and don’t cancel. Tell someone you trust that will help keep you accountable and encourage you to keep this important date with yourself and not cancel.
Don’t think it has to be a big time commitment either. Feel guilty taking an hour for a massage or for coffee, then start small and work up to more time for you. It may take a while for you to stop feeling guilty and really see how important taking time for you is.
Also, this is not meant as a slight to massages, pedicures or drinks with friends as good ways to relax. I use these too and they are fabulous. I just want you to know that if they aren’t doing the trick you have permission to do what works for you.
I would love to hear what you came up with for your own personalized rest and relaxation list! Comment below or hit me up on the socials!
